“Viva la Difference!”

“Viva La Difference” probably had some physical meaning, but there are other differences to consider when trying to make relationships last. As Valentine’s Day and our 55th anniversary approaches, my wife and I frequently discuss with friends how we all made marriage last.

Laughter usually erupts when someone says, “It’s because we agree on everything.” We find that ludicrous! If love is the most important factor in marriage, compromise and forgiveness must be close seconds. One couple we know disagree about everything! They yell, argue, insult the other’s judgment, and then laugh and make up. They are truly sweethearts.

In the best of marriages, arguments about trivial subjects are inevitable and usually not worthy of hostility. But when they happen, another serious difference in the sexes emerges. Men recover more quickly and don’t understand why their sensitive mates remain angry and silent. Disputes would be less damaging if ladies would quietly explain and men would at least validate their feelings and if necessary the two can agree to disagree. Tender apologies and forgiveness can erase a lot of bitterness and get life back on track.

Someone wrote, “Learn to love your mate because of your differences.” Easier said than done? Absolutely, but with enough thought and effort, it is possible.
In another book famous people made derisive remarks about marriage while only a few seemed to praise the virtues. But then why would anyone take Elizabeth Taylor, Warren Beatty or Jennifer Lopez seriously about lasting love? For valid advice go to someone who has made marriage work. Lust, money, and fame are okay, but not the best foundations for lasting relationships.

Men! Don’t keep those loving feelings inside! “Crown her” with sincere praise and listen to her heartstrings. At dinner with close friends recently, a husband of 44 years said nonchalantly (out of his wife’s hearing), “I don’t care where we live as long as I can live with her.” A hush fell over the table as my wife told his astonished wife. She looked tearfully toward her husband and said, “That’s the most beautiful thing any man ever said”. Really! Then it occurred to me that my wife has chosen the location of every home we’ve owned! I could easily have stirred her with those words 4 times over the years!

Come on men! Why are so many greeting cards sold? Because we macho-male creatures won’t express our love. This Valentine’s Day try putting your own love-note with the flowers or heart-shaped candy. And then don’t just leave it on the kitchen counter. Look into her beautiful eyes, tell her she’s wonderful, and celebrate your differences.

“Viva la Difference” in every sense! At least, That’s The Way I See It!

NJ